I think i peed on brittanys purse
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
