hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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