It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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