hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
