Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
