I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The power of my boobs compel you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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