dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
