the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
