M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
