evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Non-Jews are for practice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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