So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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