just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
