I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
