Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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