You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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