I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
