My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
