she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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