As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
