I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
