So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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