i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize