i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize