You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
