ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
