i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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