whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
