Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
