All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
