Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I intend to get homeless drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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