I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet he comes in French.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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