we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
