Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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