I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
