Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I faked an abortion last night.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
