if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize