Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
