I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize