you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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