Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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