did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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