Your tits are I can't wait for
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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