you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
