just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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