we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
