Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
