I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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