Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
