hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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