Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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