Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
