Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
