Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize