I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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