I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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