I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
