hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
