Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
